i was reading this blog entry by BPD in OKC about remission for borderline personality disorder. i never considered it as something i might have, but realized that while her entry listed 9 criteria for having the disorder and not having 5 of them would constitute as being in remission i fit most of the criteria! then i found this test from www.SimilarMinds.com and took their personality disorder test. these are my results:
the top three that i had, all in the 70 – 80% range, happened to be of a different type according to them. Schizoid for eccentric (78%), borderline for dramatic (74%), and obsessive-compulsive for anxious (70%). i already knew i had symptoms of the latter, but the other two were kind of a surprise. then again, many of the symptoms for one appear in other disorders. i could probably make it sound as if i had them all!
i guess this only answer would be to have a professional diagnose me, which i have a problem doing. first of all, i don’t want to admit that i need someone else to solve my problems… these minor problems that are really embarassing to me. secondly, i don’t want to find out that i have no disorder at all and i’m just being dumb and trying to put blame for my own mistakes and actions on mental illness. that diagnosis would only be devastating and quite frankly, detrimental. thirdly, do i really want to be loaded up with meds and potentially get an unnecessary addiction? (this would be the worrier in me talking.) finally, i’m too lazy. like most everything in my life, i’m too lazy to do anything. it’s remarkable that i even bother going to work, but other than my necessary duties to survive, i’m a lazy ass.
yes, so maybe i should just quit bitching about being depressed or suicidal or whatever it happens to be if i’m too lazy to even go get diagnosed? but, this might completely defeat the purpose having a blog where i can do all the bitching i want without unwanted attention. so where am i at now?
i cut myself and it’s just a bit swollen now so back to square one.
Unfitting 