coffee.. not such a good idea

again, i was practically dead this morning.  took me all my strength to get me into the shower and drive to work.  i think i’m a little too close to quitting, but i’m not looking to be unemployed yet.  i had coffee at about 3 with the other people at work.  now, i don’t drink coffee too often.. maybe two other times since i’ve been there.  i think this time, i underestimated its effects on me.  first of all, the coffee wasn’t even good, but the four packets of sugar did a world of good on me.  i drank the whole thing while working and talking, not even realizing it till it was gone.  after about an hour, i started feeling the effects.  doesn’t seem to make sense?  yeah, i know.  anyway, my heart was racing a bit and i was anxious, jumpy, a bit hyper, yet still very tired.    after i got home, it got bad, making me physically ill.  i was off the walls, couldn’t stay still, couldn’t focus, talking faster and more incoherently than normal.  it felt like i couldn’t breathe.  i laid in bed and it just added headaches to the mixture.  i thought the coffee would have worn off long time ago, but it seemed to last hours.   the whole thing just enhanced all the mania i’ve been experiencing this week and it was not a great feeling, not at all.  right now, i’m dead tired, but can’t fall asleep.  i keep telling myself to take it one day at a time, but it’s wearing pretty damn thin at the moment.  don’t know, i’ll quit bitching now.