this past week has been, as the title suggests, good.. back to normal. after weeks of built-up stress, i had a big fight with *. it went the way it always has and not the way he again hoped it would. in other words, i had been crying and silent. thinking but not there. my communication skills are honestly horrendous. i never learned when i was little and i never learned them when i grew up. i feel that i can’t speak much of the time. it would be much easier to have a machine read my mind when i need it to.
i did. i really hate that phrase. what does it mean? just because someone did something doesn’t mean that the next person should or will accomplish the same thing. it’s a part of what makes us unique and different. “i did” also sounds like full of disdain in my ears. how does that even make you that much better than me? now, of course, the retort is that i’m being a bitch and a victum. maybe true, but to some degree, it’s more than that. it’s just bad that i have no excuse for acting mental when i’m clearly not. Others are far worse.
again, i’m not making any sense. it feels like my ideas run together. i can’t think straight. nothing i say or write even makes sense to me, let alone to anyone reading it. i am jealous of those who can speak their minds and explain themselves because i can’t explain this, i can’t explain myself.
soon, i’m going to turn into one of those insane people in the movies who huddle themselves into the corner of the room, closed off and mute. somehow this blog turned out to be more down than i intended it to. i’m sleepy and tired and have to wake up for work in 4 hours so i’m going to bed. night.
Unfitting 